“WHAT THE HECK?!” News

Michael Jackson wants Vegas robot

Michael Jackson is in
discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam
the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he
considers making a comeback after 2004′s turbulent child sex case.

It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in
Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert,
firing laser beams.

If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.

It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot’s designer.

Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal,
claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

“Michael’s looked at the sketches and likes them,” he told the New York Daily News.

On the subject of the robot, he continued: “It would be in the desert
sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing
people flying in would see.”

I guess a 25 foot tall robot firing lazers just ain’t enough….

I need some Chulessness counseling.

When you are in your early 20′s…

You order liquor in a restaurant and get carded, you take it as a insult.

When you are approaching 30…..

You order liquor in a restaurant and get carded, you take it as a complement.

Visited my neurologist yesterday. Since good ol’ Dr Zenetos had not seen me into two years and he has hundreds of patients, I am not too surprised when he asked me:

“So what do you do for a living? You work with computers?”

I am sure I am not the first Asian guy that was asked that question.

“No, I am an EMT”

“Oooh, THATS how you hurt your back”

Ofcourse, I would imagine moving a bunch of computers around can hurt your back too. Well anyway…..

So he looked at my MRI’s again and recommended this cool minimally invasion spine surgery procedure called…

LASE!  (Endoscopic Lazer Discetomy)

They basically insert a tube into my spine with a lazer tip. The lazer zaps out the bulging of the disc that is pressing against the nerve. Aggressive yet minimally invasive treatment. I walk out in 1 hour after the procedure with only a bandaid!

The best part of it is that I will be “high” throughout the whole procedure!

Plus, since I have 1199 SEIU health insurance, my doctor says he can do the surgery right away. No dumb waiting for approval!

Will schedule for the surgery as soon as my blood test results come.

This is my herniated disc from today’s scary MRI session at beautiful Lenox Hills Hospital in Manhattan.

See that sucker? THATS the thing that has been crippling me for the last 4 years!

See?! I wasn’t just pretending to have a bad back to get sympathy or to skip out on work or sports! HAHA.

Chiropractors, injections, physical therapy do nothing. Now I will try surgery.

Good news: According to the MRI, my back doesn’t seem to be getting worse

Bad news: The herniated disc doesn’t seem to be getting better either.

So I foolishly went to this puppy store on 62nd street and Lexington Ave, and saw this tiny Shitzhu that could have fit into my small coffee cup. I think it must have been only 3 weeks old. It was wearing his little pedigree plastic ID collar and was wobbling in his cage. All of the sudden, it just looked at me with those big round black eyes.

“Stop that!” I declared.

It stood there, now sitting on its tiny butt. Staring at me with those round eyes into the deepest pits of my soul.

“Stop that you stupid manipulative dog! I just took out a loan for class! I can’t afford you! Get away!”

“Don’t you have any compassion you stupid dog?! Away with you!!”

Still staring. Now its using some wet nose action.

“AAAAAH!”

I ran out of the store.

Some people shouldn’t go near a casino. I shouldn’t go near a pet store. 

Hear ye hear ye!  Let it be known:

Charlie gives BAD advice to women about relationships.

If you are a girl, and want to be even more confused or upset about your boyfriend than you already are, Charlie is free.

No appointment is neccessary. Come on down. Plenty of free Kleenex.

Thank you for your time. Carry on.

Running to paramedic class late, then have everyone clap and cheer when
I came through the door. I looked around and wondered why they were clapping and then
I saw the white board.

Phil 5
Clara 5
Maran 5

They were voting for a class president, and it was tied 3 ways. Until I came in…. I became the tie breaker.

Cop: “I hate rookies! They think they know everything well they don’t.
They can’t tell me what to do!! I have 5 years!#@$%&!!”

<awkward silence>